two-thousand and eight.

i'm reflective- i think. so i'm going to reflect on my past year. this could be considered more of a journal entry than a blog, so i apologize if it does not read easy. i tend to forget important things, so i will probably end up revising this blog 2 or 3 or 10 times. here is round 1. let's start in january.

oh january, back to bethel. i distinctly remember crying on new years night - what a way to start the new year. it was SO good to be back with my best friends from high school over christmas break and i started to realize my friend pool @ bethel was rather small. i had my bff from growing up and her roommate, but i believe at the time the three of us weren't getting along. i grudgingly came back, thankful for a month of j-term to ease back into things. it was a sweet month. i watched so many episodes of LOST my eyes nearly fell out - but it was good bonding time. and if i recall, i accidentally prayed for one of the characters before dinner one night. the month ended pretty awesome as well with a trip to chicago with lindz & kels .. good times. nothing like a good megabus ride. overall january gets a plus plus.


february got off to a great start. i was still in chicago and met up with a few friends from bethel in the city for a bday dinner. thus begins the friendship with my current roommates - whom i love. i started my new job in the admissions office - what an experience. the infamous 'harsha' phone call took place mid-february and is a story i will tell for the rest of my life. next time we hang out (you and i), make sure you ask me about it. i went up to lake beauty at the end of the month with a few bethel buddies to lead worship @ the junior high retreat. little did i know that some of the characters i met would be great friends [the likes of josh danielson, bdiff, amanda, etc]. i suppose i was technically auditioning for the 'worship director' position at camp - something i thought i really wanted. in extreme opposition to fall semester of last year, my classes didn't begin until the afternoon every day, and i loved it. going to classes rested was pretty darn great.

march wins. hands down. yes, spring break was fairly awful - 11 days stuck at my house with no car, but something else happened that trumped it all. st. patty's day brought the birth of my child prodigy nephew, nathan andrew. he didn't do much back then, but i didn't care. he brought joy into my life, and the lives of all my family members. i'm sure pictures were strewn about my dorm room in an unhealthy fashion. i figured out a week later that i didn't get my desired position @ lbbc, and was frustrated that i had to find a different place to work that summer. they offered me a counselor position, but there was NO WAY i was going to do that crap job. i value sleep way too much.

april was pretty uneventful. i had been slacking in my classes (of course) and knew i needed to kick it up a notch. sarah and i hit up the nada surf concert the night before her extended europe vacation, and they were awesome. i agreed to carsit for her while she was gone - and realized that while she was gone i could pretty much live her life. i basically lived in her apartment (this might be news to her...) for 2 weeks, and it was nice to not be in a college dorm for once. i'm sure i had some religious epiphanies that month and decided that i really didn't have any other summer options aside from lake beauty. i grudgingly accepted the counselor job via facebook message. 2 months wouldn't kill me - and i'd be 20minutes from home, i could go home every weekend.

may wasn't the best bethel month. things with my roommate were hostile and i was just ready to be done with freshman year. bethel got done later than most schools - the friday before memorial day - yikes. i only had 3 days between bethel and camp. i'd be lucky to find time to unpack. i came home, had one final vespers that monday, a going-away party tuesday, and the next thing i knew i was driving to lake beauty for staff training. i remember blasting my guster album and thinking it sucked that i would have to listen to christian music for 2 months straight. don't get me wrong, i love Jesus, but i can only take so many consecutive hours of perfect christians. my doctor had located a growth on my thyroid the morning that i left, and that was piercing the back of my mind. i'd have to have several appointments and tests to see if it was indeed a malignant tumor. i was 18. yikes. i had decided sometime in the beginning of may that i wasn't going to drink any mountain dew the whole summer. i think some of you may wonder how much i actually drink - if it's a problem. well, let's take this chance to clear it up - when i left bethel in may of '08, i was drinking anywhere between 6-10 cans a day. that's A LOT. withdrawals were a bi-atch during staff training. all i could do was sleep. i felt sufficiently awkward for the first few days, counting down the days until i could go home. [i'm going to stop talking about camp right here because we all know how this story ends - perhaps a fairy tale ending.]

june rocked the box. i was making some pretty awesome friends out @ LBBC. they were hilarious and shared my love for shenanigans. [to save space, you can just refer to my 'top 100 moments @ LBBC' blog]. i went home the first weekend after senior high because my fam wanted to celebrate my birthday. i won't get into too much detail, but things were rough at home because one of my sisters had spent 2 weeks in the hospital for a psychological issue, and had a long road to recovery. let's just say God is pretty awesome - He delivered. my birthday was about as great as a 19th birthday can be - my dad and i had a dual celebration because it was father's day, and somehow he decided that we would be eating @ the chinese buffet. of course. i'm not bitter. i got to have lbbc pizza for dinner and a popcorn party. i was in and out of the hospital all month getting tests done on my thyroid, and started to wonder if something was actually wrong. i'm not too good at perspective - but certain things started to hit me. that's pretty much june in a nutshell.

july began with family camp. oh lord. chaos chaos chaos. good chaos though, i think. my fam came out for the occasion and it was fun to show them around my new favorite place. [ps i don't think i cleared this up - i LOVED counseling. and would've died being worship director - i did it one week and it was not my bag.] i had made it a month and a half without dew and i wasn't even tempted. well, until that one trailblazer bought me a 20oz bottle at the end of the week. it sat on my dresser. i vowed that i would not drink it. my doctor left me a voicemail that same day telling me that the tumor was benign and with a follow-up appt and some meds, i had nothing to worry about. i must've ran 2 miles around camp that day..so excited. and i thought to myself, i don't have cancer: i deserve this dew. dang it tasted good. the secret's out. so as soon as i had cleared my residence at the hospital, i wound up there with a nice little concussion. lost sight in my left eye for just about 2 weeks - that was fun. i ended the month with the best cabin ever (well, a close tie to senior high) - i really think my favorite memory of the year was jumping off the pontoon with my cabin in our clothes and chatting about life. yep. july's got the winning moment.

august began with the staff banquet and final night. it sucked in some ways, i didn't want to see it end - but it was a great reflection time nonetheless. and i wasn't done quite yet - i was staying the extra week with some of my closest friends anyway. the extra week was great - mucho shenanigans, of course. goodbyes were hard. i'll never forget saying goodbye to kdawg by the volleyball courts. got my eyebrow pierced - which about 40% of the people i know actually like. oh well. i left for chicago the day after i got back and chilled with my soon-to-be-roommate, good times. i was in a daze. went to montana with my mom, sister, and nephew to see my grandma. quality time spent. camp withdrawals were building and i was starting to feel like a nomad. i went to school a few days early and it wasn't what i expected. i was fairly nostalgic. but hey, i got to see backstreet boys in concert. yes please.

i don't remember much about september. i was pretty depressed, and it was no one's fault but mine. i lived for phone calls and facebook messages. pretty pathetic. even though i had the best roommates ever, bethel was the last place i wanted to be. i sulked in this depression pretty much all month. i started a new internship at a church and i was in no way ready to move on to a different ministry. i struggled every day on whether to switch my major or not - i didn't think i was cut out for youth ministry. [my mammon blog also takes place during the second half of this month]. september sucked.

october wasn't much better. still depressed. i didn't care to do much about it, i pretty much went to classes, church, and vespers practice and spent the rest of my time either @ abbey's or sulking in my room. i decided to fast for a few days and for once it was actually meaningful. i learned some great things about myself, and i'm actually still working on them - 3 months later. [mammon blog also takes up much of october]. the month ended with the fall retreat - wow. perfection. i had a blast - hung out with my best friends, some of my favorite campers, and i was at my favorite place. i had this odd feeling when i left that it was going to be okay. camp was over, and i finally realized that.

november finally clicked me back in. i started loving school - my classes were awesome, and i loved chilling with my friends. we played the first vespers of the month and it was awesome. probably the highlight of november. i started owning my internship and really loving it [i still do =)]. the month went pretty fast actually. sweet. and thanksgiving was delicious - considering my meal plan had caved at the end of october and i was stuck eating goldfish all day.

december - here we are. i worked my crazy bum off on final papers and exams and came out pretty good. a 3.5! who knew. had some fun outings with my roommates - good times. came home for christmas break, only to leave 2 days later for the nation's capital. it was a fun trip, nothing that would make a feel-good movie, but it was fun. got to spend some quality time with my little man, that's always great. ended the month with the camp reunion - good stuff. good to see those people again. had fun on new years with some old friends, there's just something about friends that go way back.

so here i am. it was a crazy year. i went from a low. to an ultimate high. almost had cancer. got a head injury. back down to a low. up to a high again. but hey, we're good now. <--- i could've just written this part as the whole blog. crap. why didn't i do that? oh well.

peace out.