screw.

i'm not much for email forwards, but this one was pretty great.

but first, a corresponding office quote:

Michael: When I said before that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who's just delivering drugs from one guy to another.

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HOW MANY MINNESOTA COLLEGE STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1. At Bemidji State University, none, Bemidji doesn’t have electricity yet.

2. At Bethel, it takes none. They don’t screw.

3. At Carleton, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

4. At Concordia, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in, nine to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

5. At Gustavus, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

6. At St. Kate’s, it takes seven and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.

7. At Hamline, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to phone a friend at St. John’s to get instructions.

8. At Macalester, it takes four. One to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

9. At Mankato State University, it takes 1, but it takes him 6 years.

10. At Moorhead State University, it takes 3, one to change it and 2 to crack under the pressure.

11. At St. Ben’s, it takes 4,one to change the light bulb and 3 to figure out how it will help them meet their future husband.

12. At St. John’s, it takes none. We get the Young Tommie Girls to do it for us, and they make us lasagna.

13. At St. Mary’s, it takes five. One to change it and four to talk about how they would have done it in Chicago.

14. At St. Olaf, it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Carleton, and 50 who realize it’s all a lie.

15. At St. Thomas, it takes eight. One to change it and 7 to talk about how they wouldn’t have gone to St. John’s/St. Ben’s even if they could have gotten in.

16. At University of MN St Paul, none, down town St. Paul looks better in the dark.

17. At University of MN Twin Cities, 4, one to change the bulb, and three to write up a complaint to the Board of directors stating that they could have gone to a better school If they had wanted.

18. At the University of MN Duluth, the whole student body, there’s nothing else to do in Duluth on the weekends.

19. At University of MN Morris, it takes 1; he just holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

20. At Winona State University, it takes 3, one to change it and 2 to figure out how to turn it on.

21. At St. Cloud State University, “who gives a crap… let’s drink in the dark!!!”

22. At Northwestern, it takes the whole student body, on their knees in the chapel praying that God would please show us His light instead.